How To Be WellnStrong

75: When God Says “Wait” | Elizabeth Laing Thompson

• Jacqueline Genova • Episode 75

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You may have heard of the expression that God answers prayers in one of three ways. He either answers: “Yes,” “No,” or “Not right now.”  In my prayer life, it is seldom easy for me to clearly figure out which of these three responses He is giving me. Oftentimes, I end up acting like an amateur detective, trying to piece together clues as to what God is telling me to do, so that I can quickly make a decision. I often struggle with waiting when I simply don't have a crystal-clear answer from Him. That’s why I’m so excited to sit down and talk with Elizabeth Laing Thompson, about all things “waiting.” Elizabeth is a speaker and novelist, and the author of many inspirational books for women and teens, including All the Feels, All the Feels for Teens, When a Friendship Falls Apart, and the When God Says series. She writes to help others find hope when they're waiting, help when they're hurting, and humor in holiness. My key takeaway? When God makes us “wait,” we can control only two things: how we wait, and who we become along the way.

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*Unedited Transcript*
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Jacqueline: [00:00:00] Well, first of all, Elizabeth, I am so blessed, to just spend this time with you. I first heard about you from Stephanie Mae Wilson, who I absolutely love. Um, again, I mentioned that I had her on my podcast several weeks ago and I listened to your conversation with her, um which was a while ago, but I'm always going through her old episodes and I heard it and it just Really spoke to me and right away, I looked you up.

I started looking into your work and I was like, this woman is incredible. I have to have her on my podcast. And the funny thing, Elizabeth is most of my content thus far, as I'm sure you may be seen has been a very health focused, right? And I'm starting to find a year into podcasting and four years into blogging that my true passion, yes, it's in wellness, but more so it's in, it's in faith, right.

And kind of looking at wellness, like through a faith based lens. And I love talking about just life topics, right. Things I'm struggling with. I had a conversation this week with an incredible pastor on suffering. [00:01:00] And I told him, I was like, this is my favorite conversation, not because of the topic, but because it's something that.

We all struggle with, right? And it's, you know, it's, it's hard to navigate. Um, but if you could find a way to navigate through those tough life challenges with faith, right? And understanding like purpose behind it, it makes all the difference. Right? So, so happy to have you on today. We're going to be jumping around a bit as I was sitting down on Sunday.

I was like, there's so many things. She's written so many great books and all these topics. But again, I like to kind of focus the conversation around things that I personally have been struggling with. So the nature of this conversation, Elizabeth, I'd love to focus on waiting. Because there are so many people, right?

So many listeners who are waiting for something, right? Waiting for a job, waiting for a spouse, waiting for a baby. Um, it affects us all. We're all in some type of waiting period, even when we've gotten something, right? Like we're still in a waiting period for something else. [00:02:00] So I just wanted to talk about, yeah, that, and how can we wait?

Well, how can we hear from God? Just. So many questions for you, but before we even start, Elizabeth, I know a little bit about your background. But for listeners, can you just give a brief background on who you are, what you do, and how you found yourself in this space?

Elizabeth: Sure. Uh, well, I I, worked in, um, full time ministry and campus ministry for a few years, um, before realizing that , what I really wanted to do was to write books. Now, I did not start out wanting to write spiritual books. In fact, I was like, absolutely not, like, I'm not doing that.

Not that I'm anti, of course I love God, but I just, at that time in my life, I was really into like, I want to write fiction, and um, you know, I don't feel like I've lived enough life to have something to say at that point, because I was still in my

like 

Jacqueline: old were you?

Elizabeth: 20s. mid 20s. This is like mid

20s. 

Jacqueline: Okay. I'm [00:03:00] 29, and I still don't feel that way.

Elizabeth: I was like, I'm going to be a writer. And my husband was like, bless him. He was like supportive, you know? Um, but you know, years later, God really put on my heart. I started thinking, okay, God has not opened the door for fiction, even though I really love it. And I started feeling a nudge, like maybe I do need to like, do some listening.

And and, and ask God if there are things that he wants me to say spiritually, cause I have lived a lot more life now and I have suffered and I've been through some stuff and, and, um, when God says wait was actually my first traditionally published book. And it was funny the way it came about because, um, I was praying one day and thinking, a lot of times they told writers, you need to write what you know.

And I was like, well, what do I know about spiritually speaking? And I had this really sarcastic thought of, well, I know about [00:04:00] waiting,

Jacqueline: Yeah, let's pick that one.

Elizabeth: my least favorite thing in the universe. And then I was like, well, but you know what? I could actually, I have, I have, this has tested me like nothing else spiritually. Um, so that's where this book came from. But, um, um, And I tell in the, in When Gods Is Wait, I tell a lot of stories about waiting for a husband, waiting for children.

We went through a really difficult season of infertility that, um, I would not wish on anyone. Um, and the truth is I'm still waiting on a lot of things. And I think Every woman that you meet is waiting on something from God. There's some hole in her heart that has yet to be filled. And so I'm really glad we're talking about this today.

Jacqueline: Yeah. No, absolutely. And I mean, we'll get into my own personal struggles with what I'm waiting for, but what are some of the lies that the enemy tells us when we're waiting? Because I know that it's in those seasons where we are So tempted to distrust God, right? And kind of take things into our own hands [00:05:00] and say, you know what?

God's not making this happen. I need to do something. So yeah. I mean, what are, what are some of those lies that we hear in our heads and how do we combat them?

Elizabeth: Yeah. I think there are quite a few lies. I mean, Satan, the Bible says that he is the father of lies. And when he lies, he speaks his native language. And I think he loves. Using waiting seasons to mess with our heads and mess with our faith. Um, you know, I think for me one of the lies that I struggled with was God must be mad at you like you are waiting for this because god is mad at me Or he's disappointed with me in some way.

Like if I was a stronger Christian or had better faith, I wouldn't be waiting. He, you know, and I think it can take different forms. Like, well, until, and they sound real spiritual, like, well, until you learn this certain lesson, you're not going to get the thing that you're waiting for. Right. 

Cause we think that we 

Jacqueline: Or people [00:06:00] are like, when you least expect it, just stop expecting and like, surrender to God. So then we're like, alright God, we surrender it, but meanwhile we're thinking, okay, if I surrender it, then I'm gonna get it, right? It's like, we're trying to like, outsmart God, but that doesn't, doesn't work that

way. 

Elizabeth: he's not fooled. You know, we're like manipulating. We're like, I surrendered, wink wink, like you can give it to me now. And, and we just have to be so careful with that kind of thing. I, you know, one of the things that I, I think waiting has taught me to do is to, Stop trying to read God's mind and assume that I know what his plan is or know why he's doing certain things um But chances are if you are waiting on something and even if it's been a long time And you're hurting and you're just like I don't understand And I, and you get to a point where you feel like I'm not even waiting very beautifully anymore.

Like I've really, I've had doubts. I've [00:07:00] struggled. I have done this in a very messy way. Chances are you're not waiting because God is mad at you. It may have nothing to do with you and your character. It just may be. You, we just don't know, you know, so I just, I always caution people don't try to read God's mind.

You've got to trust what the Bible says about God's character and his love and his grace.

Jacqueline: Yeah. That's so good. Elizabeth, this conversation could not come at a better time, honestly, because I'll share a little bit of my personal story. I don't disclose too much about my personal life, uh, you know, my podcast and whatnot, but I think this is hopefully, will hopefully be helpful for listeners. But I am, so I'm 29 years old and I was in a pretty long relationship that started out of college and that ended and it's a long story, but I ended up in Greenville. I love Greenville, South Carolina. I've been able to find some really great community here. And I was talking to my sister last night, we were just texting and [00:08:00] I was like, you know, like I'm still, I'm, I'm lonely, you know, like I have wonderful friends, Blake.

I'm lonely. And, I do have a desire to be married at some point. And I was just thinking, you know, what do I do now? I've been here for a little over two years. I feel like I haven't met anyone. Do I move? And my sister was always kind of the opinion of like, Oh, like Charlotte, you should look at Charlotte.

Charlotte has a quote unquote, like, Larger pool, right. If younger people, and then that just started planting all of these. What ifs in my mind, right. Of like, what if, like, what if like, should I move there? Like, should I have moved there? Like in the past, should I move there now? Like all these potential, like fears and anxieties.

And then that led me to think, okay, well, I've been kind of waiting on God the past two years, but how do we balance waiting on God versus taking like proactive. Action. And like, I don't necessarily feel called to move to Charlotte, Elizabeth. I feel like I would be doing [00:09:00] that kind of like out of fear. So it's like.

Yeah, like how do we balance that and then also like when we feel like we don't hear from God What do we do? Do we just wait on him? Like people like people interpret waiting differently, right? It's like you can be passive and waiting or you could be like proactive and what are your thoughts on that? I need help

Elizabeth: I'm so glad that you shared that. Thank you for sharing that. Because I think it's such a common struggle. And it's a bit of a dilemma because we're trying to figure out like, Yes, I trust God. And I really do believe that He has a plan for my life. And I'm praying about this. And I want to trust that He's hearing me.

Maybe some days we don't trust. We want to trust. Um, I don't know. But then we're also like, so where's my part? I, and I don't have like a perfect answer for you. I think, I think we can find great examples in scripture of men and women who have gone before us and who have waited. Um, and some have waited [00:10:00] really well.

Some not so well. Um, I remember like for me where that question really came up was during our infertility. Um, I kept feeling a little bit guilty, like if I pursued medical help.

Jacqueline: Mm hmm,

Elizabeth: as a Christian woman you can feel like, well, but does that mean I'm not trusting God?

Jacqueline: right.

Elizabeth: To just give it to me like am I am I being controlling by going to the doctor?

And I had to like think through and pray through like what are my convictions on this? And you know, I saw the women in the in scripture like putting They used the technology that they had at the time You'll hear them talking about like different herbs and things that they believe and i'm like, okay So they were doing what These were, you know, women who feared God.

They did what they knew to do in their day. And so I'm going to do what I know to do in my day. I'm not taking control. I'm just putting myself in a [00:11:00] position to where God could work through medicine and God could work through these results. And so I think it's a bit of a balance. It's, you know, It's always having faith.

It's feeling totally at ease with God and saying, God, here's what I'm waiting for. Here's what I'm hoping you will give me. Here's what I am looking for in a godly marriage or in my situation, then, you know, here is what I'm longing for with having a baby. And I'm going to put myself in a place where I can get some answers.

I can get information. I can meet some people. I'm not just going to sit at home alone and hope

you know, the answer to my prayer shows up on my doorstep. I'm gonna put myself in places where you can work, and then I'm gonna trust that you're gonna do your God thing. When you're ready. So I know that's not like a perfect answer to that, but I think it's a mix.

Like, we are allowed to act, 

we are allowed to pray, and And in the end, God always is the one who makes the decisions [00:12:00] about when and hair, where and how

Jacqueline: Yeah. No, that's so true I know and something that has really given me a lot of comfort lately too is just reading psalms too and just seeing how God Ordains all of our steps right like he knows exactly where we're gonna live and what we're gonna do and who we're gonna meet so that's like his sovereignty has given me a lot of peace, but For, for people who are praying, right?

And I, I think I touched on this before, but when we hear silence from God, what, what does that mean? Is that, I mean, we look at the book of Ruth, right? And like, God is literally not mentioned at all, but he is working behind the scenes and like, we don't see it until the outcome, you know, has, has been accomplished.

But if we just, if we don't hear anything, right. What do, what do we do? Do we, do we stay? Do we move forward in faith? Like, how does one decide what path to take?

Elizabeth: Oh, that's such a great question. You know, one of the things that I think waiting has taught me is [00:13:00] that God cares about what we want, you know, like, like you've shared about, you know, longing for, you know, I feel kind of lonely and I, I would love to have someone in my life at the right time. Like. That's a desire that God puts in us.

It's not a worldly or wrong desire. The desire to have a fulfilling career. We were meant to do good work. We were put in the garden of Eden to work with God and for God. Like that's in our DNA. There are certain desires that God has given us. Um, You know, whether it be just friendship, companionship, maybe the desire to be married, to be a mom, to have a career, you know, all those are godly things.

And, um, so we're allowed to bring those to him. And I think. Sometimes we can have this perspective that well, God has just preordained everything in my life and I don't really get a say. And you know, I [00:14:00] think the more you dig into Bible stories like Abraham and Sarah, um, You mentioned Ruth and Naomi, like God, there is this beautiful interplay between God having a will and a plan for our life, but also really listening to us when we present our desires to him.

And you even can find examples in scripture of God 

changing 

his timeline. And changing his mind. 

Jacqueline: Elizabeth, can you, can you touch on an example of that? Because I think listeners, I mean, some people are like, what? Like, I've never heard of that, but there are places in scripture. Can you just 

Elizabeth: oh my goodness, Yes! Okay so, one great example is Abraham, um, God had decided to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, and Abraham negotiated with God and convinced God that if he could find, 50 righteous people in the [00:15:00] city, um, he wouldn't destroy it. And Abraham, And then Abraham was like, wait a second, I don't think there's that many.

So Abraham keeps like working God down, like haggling with God. And he does it very respectfully. He talks him down from 40, uh, 30, 20. I think he gets him down to 10. I think that was the final number they settled on. And God couldn't even fight 10, so he still ended up destroying the city. But that conversation is so telling, that God was willing to hear Abraham out.

Another great example is Hezekiah. God had sent the prophet Isaiah to Hezekiah, who was the king of Israel or Judah. I'm trying to remember which it was during the divided kingdom and and he had Isaiah went to Hezekiah and said, you know, you got to put your affairs in order You're not gonna get well from this illness.

You have God has decided you're going to die well The Bible says God that Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and he prayed Oh Lord like I I've lived for you. I've been [00:16:00] righteous. Please give me more time. Isaiah was on his way out of the palace. God gave him a new vision, said, turn around and go back in.

I've changed my, my mind. I'm giving him 15 more years of life just because he asked for it. And there are more examples like that. Even Jesus first exam, uh, first miracle, Turning water to wine. Jesus didn't want to do it. And Mary was like, uh, well, they need wine at this 

wedding son. I really need you to do this.

Like, okay, 

fine mom. So what does that tell us? I think it's so encouraging that God cares about what we want, what we feel, what we need, and he's willing to hear us out. And sometimes he adjusts his timeline or he adjusts his plan just because we ask him to, because we're his daughters and he loves us.

Jacqueline: Yeah. I love that. That's so good. But with that too, Elizabeth, like, how do we balance Asking God for what we want, right? Our [00:17:00] desires versus also saying, but your will be done. Right. So like we pray in our father, like your will be done. Right. Like, and every time I, I pray that, right. It's like, God, like, you know, I really want a spouse, but like, I know you know what's best for me.

So I'm just praying that like, you know, whatever your will is for my life, like, help me be content with that. But also like, I really want this, right? So, but like, sometimes I feel like I'm praying like two extremes, right? It's like, what do I pray today? Like, do I pray for like a spouse or do I pray that God's will be done?

Right? It's like, Which one do we do?

Elizabeth: I think you're doing it the exactly the right thing, like, not that there's like a right and wrong, but that is the struggle. And I think Jesus exemplifies that really beautifully in the garden of Gethsemane when he comes to God and Jesus already knows that the answer is no. He already knows that there is no other way.

He has to die for our [00:18:00] sins to be forgiven. He has to be the sacrificial lamb. And yet he begs God to change his mind. He's like, if there is any way, could you let this cup pass from me? He begs God, but then he says, but your will be done. He does the exact same thing. And, and you even see the progression of his prayers through the night, his three different prayers, where at first it's like, You know, uh, if it's possible, take this will from, take, take this cut from me.

But if it's not your will be done. And then he says, okay, if it's not possible, may your will be done. And you sort of see this shift in greater surrender as the night goes on. And I think we're allowed to pray the same way to come to God and say, okay, here's what I really want. I desperately want this.

I'm begging, I'm pleading, I'm crying with everything in me, but I also do trust. And I, [00:19:00] more than anything, I want your will to be done. And then sometimes, unfortunately, we still have to wait because we just don't get that answer right away. But we just wait and we let God play out our life. But you know, Jesus gave us the story of the persistent widow for a reason, the parable of the persistent widow, which I think encourages us to kind of bug God.

To keep praying. You don't have to give up. And even where it says, ask, seek, and knock, really? What Jesus said was keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking. We are invited to those repetitive prayers, but also pairing them

with an attitude of surrender.

Jacqueline: I love that you said that because I actually wanted to ask your thoughts on this. I heard this, I listen, Elizabeth, to so many different like podcasts and sermons during the day. It's just like so many different pastors, but I can't recall who it was, but someone had said he was like, if you continue to ask God for [00:20:00] something every single day, that means that you're not trusting him to like fulfill it.

That didn't sit right with me. Cause just like you said, like, God wants us to do that, that repetitive type of prayer. But I think like his explanation of it was, if you're asking God for the same thing every day, it's like, you're not trusting that he heard you the day before. What would your response be to that?

Elizabeth: Yeah, I, to me, that doesn't line up with what Jesus encouraged us to do. He said, keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking. He gave us the parable of the persistent widow. His example, his own example in the garden of Gethsemane was repetitive prayer, you know, he, He said the same thing three different times in one night.

And I have a feeling it wasn't the first time they'd had that conversation.

This was maybe the most memorable, but he may have been praying this for years. Like Lord, I father, I don't know if I can do this, but your will be done. Um, so my observation and [00:21:00] understanding of Jesus heart is that we are invited to those prayers.

Um, because otherwise, I mean, I think about like. In my relationship with my children, I don't shut them down. You know, when they come to me and I have to say no to something, I still want the conversation. I want them to feel close enough and confident enough with me that they can bring it up again and say, I'm still feeling disappointed about this.

And I don't really understand. Why you said no and I might even give them a more more of an explanation like well, okay Let's talk about it again. Now. We don't always get that explanation from god. That would be really great if we

could 

Jacqueline: wouldn't it?

Elizabeth: But that's a healthy relationship and I I god is not into stifling our emotions um and Stifling our prayers he invites the conversation even when it's messy

Jacqueline: Yeah, I love that. And speaking of messy, one thing I love that you talk about is [00:22:00] you encourage emotional honesty in your books. And how does that approach help during long seasons of waiting? I mean, I find that it's really easy, right? To become almost like, Bitter, and angry, even at God, if we feel like he's not answering our prayers for what we want in the timeline that we want it.

So, like, how do we avoid, I guess, that emotional burnout? And how can we, Express our emotions to God in a healthy manner. I mean, we hear David cry out to God in the Psalms, right? About like really like heart wrenching, raw emotion. And I actually asked the pastor I had on the show earlier this week or last week, Matt Howell, I was like, is it a sin to be angry at God?

And it was interesting how he answered that, but kind of in a similar vein, like, you know, how can we be Raw and honest with God and in prayer.

Elizabeth: Yeah. I love that question because I think we all [00:23:00] struggle with figuring out like, what does that look like?

And, 

and yeah, and I love that you talked about the Psalms cause I think God put them in there for a reason. And it's interesting that there's no like asterisks or like side notes, you know, like some, some of them are rough, 

Jacqueline: Yeah. 

Elizabeth: David in particular, he gave full vent to his motions and.

Would like say, you know, break the teeth of the wicked God. May his wife be a widow, his children be beggars. You're like, yikes, David, little, little rough. Um, and there's no like side note in the Bible. Like, Hey, by the way, reader, you shouldn't pray like this. This is too raw. This is too honest. Um, so that tells us that God can take it, that he wants.

To hear our real emotions. He welcomes those honest questions of bewilderment like Some [00:24:00] of the psalms say like why oh lord, do you stand far off? How long will you stay silent? I mean, they're like beseeching god 

I think ann vaskamp does a really wonderful job in her book. Um, 1 000 gifts of describing there is a difference I think between lament And complaint and I've found that really helpful for me in like sort of figuring out where my prayers need to go like I can lament to God like Asking those why questions and saying I don't understand Please But I think for me, what, what I've settled on and what I see in scripture is where that line seems to be is if we turn the finger around and we accuse God of wrongdoing,

that's, we can't, we can't do that because we know he's holy and righteous and he doesn't do wrong.

We may not understand and we can say, I [00:25:00] don't understand. But I think if we point the finger and we say, God, you are wrong, you are cheating me, that's where maybe we need to dial it back. Because we don't see that in the Psalms. We see them asking questions. We don't see them accusing God. Of sin or of neglect, you 

know, Yeah, Yeah. 

Jacqueline: and also to Elizabeth. I mean This is all very helpful, but just like tactically, like when we are in active seasons of waiting, you know, God seems silent. Like, how do we find joy in the middle of those seasons? And again, like those seasons could be years, right? So we hear folks talk about.

You know, practice gratitude, look at what you're grateful for. And certainly like there's a huge element of truth to that, but sometimes it's just really hard to be grateful for things in your life. When your focus is like 80 percent on this one thing you don't have. Um, and certainly too, I feel like I'm entering a season of life where so many of my friends are getting married, [00:26:00] right.

Um, or even having children and. I'm so happy for them, but it's, it's hard, right? You feel like it's not like college and high school where it's like, you're working towards something and there's a goal, like there's no more milestones. Well, there are milestones, but like, it depends on like the stage of life you're at.

Right. So it's hard to watch your friends step into these new milestones in life and feel like you're, behind? Like, how do we address those feelings and states?

Elizabeth: Oh my goodness. Um, 

Jacqueline: that was a loaded question, but 

Elizabeth: yeah, yeah, it's a lot so so the first part about just finding joy in those in between times I think is is Honestly the key to surviving our waiting seasons and it's really hard and for me what that has always looks like Is um Rewriting the rules that I have set for my own happiness.

So like [00:27:00] sometimes I'm tempted to think, well, I can't be fulfilled unless this happens. My life doesn't really count until this happens. I, um, Can't consider myself a real woman unless this happens, you know, and I get to be a wife or I get to be a mom or I can't, I can't feel fulfilled in my career until I get this thing.

And we have these like, untils and unlesses. And I think if we can rewrite those happiness rules and say, you know, I might have to reconsider that rule for myself. I can be grateful even if This doesn't happen. I can feel fulfilled as a woman Even while I am praying for this other thing. I can live a full life Even if I never get that one thing that I really hope I do and [00:28:00] it You're not like pretending like you're happy that the thing is missing.

You can still want it. You know, you can still, sometimes we do live life with a bit of a hole in our heart, like a space that we are holding for that dream, and that is okay. But I think what, what I would encourage anyone who's listening to this conversation to do is find the sources of joy that you do have.

I think so many times we're praying for the life we want. So much that we forget to enjoy the life that we have today. And it's still a good life. Even if some people are missing or some things are missing or some dreams are unfulfilled, God is still giving you blessing. I like to think of it as like unexpected ice cream on a road trip.

Well, you know how, when your dad is like, let's go over, let's go to unexpected ice cream. And you're like, really, this ice cream, just to make the road a little less long, you know?

Jacqueline: I love that. No, that's so good and just [00:29:00] like for you yourself Elizabeth like when you were struggling in that season of infertility how How did you cope and also, like, how did you avoid comparison with everyone else? Because again, like, that's the irony, right? It's like, once you hit one milestone, it's like, sure, you get married, but then, you know, people do struggle with infertility.

Elizabeth: Yeah. 

Jacqueline: always something. There's always a season, right?

Elizabeth: Yep. There's always something that your friends may be moving into that you feel a bit behind on. And I think comparison is such a struggle. Um, I, you know, I remember feeling like all my friends can get pregnant by accident. I can't do it on purpose. And you just, you just, you feel, I think those feelings of inferiority, like, am I less than Anytime someone moves into a different stage of you, you're like, Am I less of a woman than she is now?

Like, am I less of a grown up because I haven't experienced certain [00:30:00] milestones that she has? Um, I remember a different phase of life, seeing all of my friends, like, sort of settle into their careers in this world. Where it felt like they were all really succeeding and then they were like moving into their dream homes and um, and we meanwhile Had just like moved again.

We felt like we were starting over financially. I was like, oh You know, I I love one scripture that really helped me was when There was this interesting interaction between John the Baptist and, and Jesus early on in their ministry where it seems like some of John's disciples were trying to pit them against each other, almost as like competitive rabbis.

They come to John and they say, you know, that other rabbi, Jesus is baptizing more people than you are. And I love that John, his responses. A man can receive only what is given him from heaven. Like, he's [00:31:00] gotta become greater, I've gotta become less. But I really, in times of waiting, I cling to that line, a person can only receive what is given to them from heaven.

God's plan for my friend's life, Is not God's plan for my life. She's not stealing my blessing. It's not like God gave her the husband I was supposed to have, or the job I was meant to have, or the baby I was meant to have, or whatever you, you know, the house I wanted, no, that's just his plan for her. And that's great.

And that enables me to celebrate his plan for her. 

And lean into his plan for me, even if it looks really different from her plan. So I've found, I, I think when we struggle with comparison, find a verse to cling to that kind of corrects your thinking, helps you appreciate where you are, helps you rejoice for someone else that has really helped me 

Jacqueline: Yeah. That's so good. No, that is so good. And again, it's just like the grass is always greener mentality of looking at other people and being like, they have it all. But again, due to [00:32:00] social media, I, hate social media. Like I, I strongly, I strongly dislike it. And in fact, I don't use my personal accounts.

I think the last time I checked mine was, uh, I don't know, over three or four years ago, and I mean, well and strong, I feel like I have to use it cause it's my business, but I like to create more than consume, but for people out there who are kind of, you know, under the social media comparison trap what strategies could you offer to them, you know, to help like really reel that back in, so to speak, and not, you know, 

have to go on it all the time and have it be a, you know, You know, source of comparison every day.

Elizabeth: Oh my goodness. Yeah, honestly, I have to take breaks. Like, if I, I'll go through seasons where I'm like, you know what? This is not helping my mental health. Not helping my emotional health. Like, everything that I see on here is like, hurting me in some way. And, and sometimes it's comparison. Like, seeing everybody post the highlights and the [00:33:00] milestones.

Um, cause nobody posts like, Another boring day in my life, where nothing changed, like, what does that post look like? You know.

Jacqueline: exactly,

Elizabeth: Another day going to a job that I hate, woohoo! Another day paying down my debt, you know. So, I think, sometimes you gotta take breaks. 

Sometimes you've got to just, I think what you do is wise, like go on it for business and then get off as 

fast as you can, but also just, just remembering there's a lot of subtext that you don't see, 

you know, just man, for every, what is it?

They say a picture's worth a thousand words. Well,

for every thousand words that it does tell, there's 10, 000 it hasn't told.

Jacqueline: true. That's so true. Oh my gosh, that's so good. And another thing too, going back to what you were saying earlier about like God knows what's best for us. One thing that's given me a lot of comfort too, and I've said this in previous conversations, but whenever I'm tempted to doubt [00:34:00] God, I look back, I keep a journal of all the times that God came through for me.

Right. And like, Anytime I'm tempted to be like, God, what are you doing? I don't understand. I look back to that. I'm like, wow, God came through in all of these situations where I thought it was the end of the world. And I just look at the good that he brought from it. Like even well and strong Elizabeth, crazy enough, I would not be here talking to you.

I wouldn't have well and strong if it wasn't for That breakup I had almost four years ago, and I thought that was the end of the world at the time. I was like, this is it. My life is over. Like, what am I going to do now? But God brought something so beautiful and amazing from that heartache that I never would have even imagined.

So I really look back at past circumstances. I'm like, all right, well, if he could do that, like, He could do something else and he knows what's best for me, even though at the time I didn't want that to end and I wanted to stay with that person. I realized now that [00:35:00] would really not have had been a good path for me, but I didn't see it at the time.

So I try to hold onto those lessons now where it's like. I'm 29 and I feel like I'm so mature and I'm ready for all these things. But again, God knows when and if, you know, I, I will be, um, and also to, I mean, timing, right? Like we hear that God's timing is perfect. How have you personally leaned into that?

aspect when you are in seasons of, of waiting.

Elizabeth: Well, I love, I love your example of like journaling the, the times that you have seen God's faithfulness. Cause I do think our, his faithfulness in the past can fuel our faith for the future, you know, cause when you have those seasons, when you feel like God is silent right now, you can remember when he's worked in the past and you can say, okay, but I have seen him.

I have. I've seen God's active [00:36:00] hand at work in my life. Why would he be any different now? Just because I can't see it or feel it doesn't mean that it's not happening. So I really love that example. I think that's an awesome example for all of us to follow, um, 

Jacqueline: Yeah. 

Elizabeth: fuel, fuel our faith for the future.

Yeah.

Jacqueline: many listeners are probably like thinking a common thread we've been discussing is silence from God. Right. So they're probably thinking, okay, if there's not silence, like, does that mean they're hearing from God? Like, is that, is God, like, what does that look like? Is God talking to them?

And I mean, I've never heard God directly, like, a loud voice from heaven say, this is the way, you know, walk in it. But there have been circumstances, right? Where I feel like God has kind of orchestrated, but realistically, what does that look like for you? God talking to you and what channels does he use to talk to you?

I mean, I know sometimes he could speak through other people, but you know, you have to be careful as to who you're getting [00:37:00] godly counsel and advice from, but what are some ways that God. can talk to us and how do we make ourselves open to hearing from him? Because I feel like I spend most of my time in prayer just talking, right, 90 percent of the time.

I'm like, right, God, thank you. Good night. Like, peace out. See you tomorrow. But,

Elizabeth: I'm so glad that you asked that question. Cause I'm like, Oh my goodness. Yeah, that could have been misleading when we're like there's silence, which implies that there are other times I have not heard the voice of God either. Now I know people who, you know, have said, I, they've had these really unusual encounters.

I'm like, I don't discount that. It's never happened to me. Um, but you know, typically for me, God speaks through his word. He speaks through wise people in my life, um, and he speaks by opening and shutting doors that sort of, like, you know, guide my path in the right way. If, I can give you an example, like, sometimes a [00:38:00] story is better than a principle.

Um, this summer, I was in between, uh, writing projects and really just not thinking. sure what was next. Um, I felt really exhausted from the last, um, book that I had written and it just took a lot emotionally out of me. It was a tough topic. And so I really just spent the whole summer just like walking my neighborhood and praying.

Jacqueline: I do that all the time.

That's why I, walk so much. 

Elizabeth: I, find God on walks, I tell you. And it was one of those summers where like, I kept praying the same thing over and over. I was like, God, I don't know what's next. I don't know what you have for me. I don't know what I'm supposed to do next. I know that I need to make money because writing is my job.

I'm, I don't have like a burning thing on my heart. I'm sort of needing to fill my cup back up. And so I remember just walking and saying, God, I'm listening. I'm listening for your direction. [00:39:00] I'm open to what you have next. And two different things happened, but not quickly. Like we're talking over the span of months.

One, I had, I don't remember where it was, but I had a little nudge inside of, what about this for a book idea? And I just kind of sat with it for a while. Um, but that idea did not go away. And it just kind of kept coming up, kept like, I think this is a need. I think this is a need. I think this is a need. So I'm working on that.

We'll see if God opens up that door, but I've Yeah, I've got a proposal out. We're shopping it around, but it's something I feel after months of praying about like, okay I think that could be the Holy Spirit saying maybe You should write about this, but we'll we'll see like if the door opens then I'm gonna take that as God's yes If the door closes, then there's something else.

So there was that. And then in the meantime, I also had a friend contact me and say, Hey, do you know anybody who's [00:40:00] interested in some freelance writing? And I was like, well, actually I am.

And I ended up like getting this job. That was exactly what I had been praying for all summer long to fill the gap.

And so sometimes I think it's circumstances. Sometimes he kind of gives us a nudge. Sometimes he opens the door, closes the door. That's how it tends to work for me. But you kind of have to, I think anytime we tell God I'm listening, he, he works in his own time. Now I try not to listen, like every time I have a feeling inside, I don't take that as, Oh, that was the voice of God.

I try to sit with it for a while, you know, get advice, those kinds of things. But, but he does, we do have the Holy Spirit and he does nudge us in certain ways, so

Jacqueline: Yeah. That made me think of Like, I've heard some people have this mentality of, you know, if you don't know what to do, just take active steps of faith, and until, like, God puts an obstacle in your way, just continue to [00:41:00] proceed, right? Like, green light, green light, green light, just keep going until there's a red light.

Would you kind of agree with that?

Elizabeth: I don't think that's a bad strategy at all. I mean, you know, if, if. If God has not blocked your path, closed a door, and it's something that you're like, Hey, I'd like to pursue this, 

then try. And I always, I think the key is to invite God into our decisions. What I've noticed in my life is the more I invite God in.

The more I see him at work, like if I'm just doing it on my own, like, well, this is what I want to do. Let me go full steam ahead. And I don't include God in my decision making process. I don't ask him to open and close doors. I don't think that's great. But if we're in that constant conversation with God, okay, God, I'm going to this interview.

I invite you to speak. If you have a strong opinion here, like you want me to have this job, then please make that clear, open wide the door, make it work [00:42:00] well with my schedule or my finances, you know, God, if this is not something you were want for me, please make that clear. And, and I just invite God in, keep moving forward.

God has a way of speaking, um, clearly. When he has a strong opinion, he will let you know. Like, he'll either open that door wide open, 

Jacqueline: Yeah. And sometimes, too, I mean, it just made me think, like, he'll, he'll literally, you Put something in your mind last minute, like things that were not even on your radar and story for you here, Elizabeth. So a lot of people always ask me, they're like, how did you end up in Greenville? I'm like, honestly, it was, it was God.

It really was God because I was checking out Southern cities to move to. I visited Raleigh, wasn't really a fan. It wasn't for me, um, visited Charlotte and I liked Charlotte. Like I liked the South end area. It kind of gave me Boston vibes, but I didn't necessarily have a story. Strong like inclination to [00:43:00] move there.

But I was like of all the cities I've visited thus far, I'm probably going to move to Charlotte. So I visited, um, Asheville on a whim after I visited Asheville after that by myself, just took a solo trip to visit a friend and on my way back to the Charlotte airport in the back of my mind, I was just thinking like, what's one other city that I may have wanted to visit before I moved to Charlotte.

And I just heard Greenville. And this man that I worked with, um, his name's Jim. I worked with him on this podcast a few years ago. He lives in Anderson, which is a town not too far from here. He's the one that told me months earlier. He's like, you should check out Greenville, South Carolina. And at the time I was like, Jim, what is Greenville?

I never heard of this place before. So I mapped it on my phone, Elizabeth, and it could have been. Six hours for all I knew from Asheville. I had no idea where it was geographically But I looked at my maps and it said it was an hour and a half away So I immediately called United Airlines. I changed my flight last minute I drove to Greenville and the funny thing is I [00:44:00] was here for all of two hours and I just I really loved it and I ended up parking next to Jim's truck that day.

He happened to be downtown. He was, like, having lunch with his insurance agent, which is so random. But I parked, I parked next to his truck downtown without knowing it was his truck, obviously, until we, like, met up and then I said goodbye. But I just look at those coincidences and I can't help but think, like, I don't know, even though I didn't really know what I was doing or where I was, you know, what decision to make moving, this place was not on my radar.

And I think God, I At least I hoped, I like to think that God created like those coincidences to kind of just affirm like this is the way to go. So I mean with that too, like how much I guess emphasis do you put on your feelings and making decisions versus like logic, right? Because I mean, I went home, I made my Ben Franklin, my dad's always like make a Ben Franklin list of the pros and the cons and see which list is longer.

And it [00:45:00] sounds so silly, but it's actually really helpful. But then there's, but then there's the element of, of feelings and emotions. And like, I'm, I'm a pretty emotional person. Like my sister is much more logical. I mean, she's a lawyer, but she's very, very logical, whereas I'm like, I go with what I feel and, you know, I know the Bible does allude to having a peace that surpasses understanding.

And, you know, if you feel peace, you should feel like that's the. road you should pursue, but, know, what are your thoughts on, 

um, feelings when it comes to big life decisions?

Elizabeth: Oh goodness. Wow. Okay. So it's such a great question and it's complicated. And so I want to like tread carefully in that because I, I don't know if there's like a perfect like answer to that. I will recommend a book. Um, and, uh, I'm irritated with myself 'cause I'm blanking on the author's name, but I believe it's called decision making.

By the book, um, or decision making in the will of God, I will send [00:46:00] that to you. I can send it to you later if you want to include it in the show notes. It's this really short book. Um, I found it really helpful in answering some of those questions. Um, he talks a lot about like, do you have to have perfect peace to make a decision?

How much should your emotions play into it? And, you know, kind of what I've come away with in studying scripture, pondering the What I saw in that book and just seeing my own life. I think it's a mix. I mean our emotions do matter So if there's a decision that is just not sitting well with you and you're like I just really don't want to do that.

Like I don't like you know, you said you don't like Raleigh. I don't like it I don't want to go there. I don't think I would be happy then you're allowed to make a decision with the Considering that emotion, you know, um, but the truth is sometimes we are going to have to make decisions where our piece will be imperfect.[00:47:00] 

Maybe it's not exactly what we wanted. It's the best scenario we can come up with. And it's like, well, I'm going to take this job. It is not my dream job. There are some things I don't like about it and I'm not excited about, but for now, this is what I have. I've prayed about it. And so to the extent that I'm able, I feel good.

And I feel at peace, you know? So I think sometimes we can almost, we just want to avoid that situation. Superstitious, like, Oh, feel I just, you know, we wanted put in the prayer work. We want to get advice from wise counselors in our life. We do want to make our pro and con lists. We want to ask ourselves, how does God think about this in general?

And then we do the best we can with the information we have. The, I think what helps me is to know that, you know, God's going to be with me, even if I make a less than perfect decision, you know, 

Jacqueline: Yep. 

Elizabeth: get two options and it's not clear. So 

you pick one, [00:48:00] God's going with you either way. He's not like, Oh, wrong one.

I'm out. 

Yeah. Hmm. 

Jacqueline: you said that because again, I was having a conversation with a friend the other week at lunch about this exact topic. And I was like, if we're presented with two routes, right? Route A or path to pass path, path A and path B, both are equal, both honor God, right?

Both are good. How do we know which path to choose? Right? Like, there's nothing necessarily bad, but then like, The, the human part of me thinks, Oh, God is standing behind door a and door B. And he's going to open it. It's going to be like, Oh, you chose a dun dun dun. Like here's one outcome and here's another.

And I realized like, but that's not how God works and that's not his character. And I realized too, I mean, even, even with wall and strong Elizabeth, like. I mean, the reason I started is, is my mom, right? Her, her journey with breast cancer. I don't know if I told you, she was diagnosed with stage 4 back in 2018.

Um, so it's been a journey, but [00:49:00] I have had so much fear, um, even about past events in terms of like decisions we made, like treatments to do or treatments not to do. And, um, I think you hit the nail on the head. Like, we have to make the best decision that we can at that moment in time with the information we have.

And I realized too, I mean, I've been such a big proponent of integrative medicine and I still am, but I've, I've learned, especially this year that it's really not about, the treatment, right? It's not about the decision as much as it is trusting God with the outcome, right? Because if we're abiding in him, whatever treatment we pursue, whatever path we take, we're trusting him with the outcome.

Like he will walk with us and he will honor that if we include him, like you said, in that decision and in that conversation. So that's brought in me A lot of peace. Um, so yeah, that, that just really resonated with me.

Elizabeth: Yeah, I love that. My [00:50:00] husband calls that, um, he always says, God's in the business of taking our lemons and turning them into lemonade. Like, that anytime, you know, sometimes we have, we, we do the best we can with the information we have at hand. We're not, um, omniscient. We can't see the future. So we're, we are making some decisions a little bit in the dark.

We're like, well, I hope this is a good one. I've presented it to God in prayer. I trust that he's with me. But even if it does turn out and you're like, wow, you know, this didn't go the way I had hoped it would, or it's not as happy of a situation as I was expecting. God can still, that's Romans 8, 28 at 

work.

He can take the sourness of that situation and bring some beautiful things out of it. He is always working for our good, even when we're in less than ideal circumstances. Even when our decisions put us in a situation that we're like, Oh, I wish I wasn't here now. If I had known five years ago, I might've done this differently.

Jacqueline: Yeah. 

Elizabeth: that's how we learn. Like that's how [00:51:00] we grow as people.

Jacqueline: Right. Yeah. And I mean, he, he wastes nothing. And I think another verse has given me comfort it's like nothing like in so many words, nothing can thwart God's plan for our lives, right? Like we are not. all that powerful and like as a type A personality.

I have to remind myself of that often to say like, I am not so powerful as to step outside. The will of what God has for my life. Um, so that's given me a lot of peace too.

Elizabeth: Yeah, I love that. And God is with you, wherever you go. And he's, he's not going to stop being our father because,

Jacqueline: Yeah.

Elizabeth: You know, we made a less than perfect decision or, 

you know, 

like he said, he's not going to stop loving us, not going to stop guiding us no matter what. 

Jacqueline: So true. I can't believe we are almost at the hour mark. I feel like I've been talking to you for like 10 minutes, so this is wild. I'm going to have to have you back on again because 

there's so much to discuss, but this has been so helpful and encouraging for me, [00:52:00] Elizabeth. And I know. A lot of listeners are also going to be encouraged, but where can they find you?

Where can they find all of your incredible books? Give us all of the social channels.

Elizabeth: Yeah, you can find me, you know, at all the usual suspects. Um, uh, my handle is Elizabeth Lang Thompson, L A I N G. Um, so you can find me on Instagram. I'm active there. I'm active there. Active on Facebook, and that's my website as well, ElizabethLangThompson. com. I have a lot of free resources, like Bible study plans and things on my website.

I love keeping up through my newsletter. Uh, my books are available, really, wherever you like to buy books. If you'd like to buy them from Barnes and Noble, from Books A Million, from Amazon, uh, Target, Walmart, you can usually find them on there. So I have the When God Says Wait series. My last book, the one that, like, took so much out of me,

was When God Says Wait. 

Jacqueline: which one was that?

Elizabeth: It was called When a Friendship Falls Apart, um, 

Jacqueline: Oh, 

Elizabeth: and so it was about, you know, those times when just something happens, and the friendship [00:53:00] struggles, and that was a rough one to 

write, but, 

Jacqueline: conversation.

Elizabeth: for sure, yeah, that was my most recent book, so, um, and I have one on emotional health called All the Feels as well, so.

Jacqueline: I love that. I will be picking up a copy of that. I'll be including the links to all of those in the share notes. But my last question for you, and this is always my favorite one to ask, and that is, what does being well and strong mean to you?

Elizabeth: Ooh, I love that question. You know, I think it means just, Walking with God and finding joy in the small blessings every day. Just, you know, not getting obsessed with the big, big picture and all those things that we're waiting for. But just seeing him every day, the little blessings, the little winks and nods that he gives us all that unexpected ice cream.

Um, just 

savoring those things day by day and step by step. So

Jacqueline: I love that. Beautiful. Well, this has been so much fun. Um, I'm really looking forward to sharing this. I'll let you know when it goes live and 

Elizabeth: awesome. 

Jacqueline: come visit me in [00:54:00] Greenville. So I'm 

Elizabeth: I know, 

Jacqueline: point. 

Elizabeth: I know we're not that far. So I would love that. That would be amazing.


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Jacqueline Genova

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